A parable for all New Brunswickers.
Dick loved the forest and hunting. However, he could get lost walking to the neighbors. His sense of direction was about as good as Stevie Wonder’s. So when his name got drawn in the moose lottery, he hired a guy called Paul, who claimed to be an excellent guide. Paul took Dick to a place where he said the moose hunting was excellent. But after trudging through the brush for an hour, Dick noticed the same tree that Paul had banged into earlier. They were going in circles. Dick mentioned this to Paul, who became angry and said to trust him, he knew what he was doing. After being lost for three days, they emerged from the forest tired, hungry and with no moose.
Four years later, Dick’s name got picked again. Still angry at Paul, Dick hired a woman named Beth, who ran a guiding business on the other side of the county. Beth assured him that getting a moose would be no problem. As a matter of face, she all but guaranteed it, as she knew where there was a whole herd of them. Imagine Dick’s rage when they arrived at a farmer’s field that was full of angus cattle. Beth argued that since they were about the same color as moose, they had to be moose. And since she had more experience than him, it was ignorant of him to even question her judgement. Stupidly, Dick agreed and shot the biggest cow in the field. He spent the rest of the season behind bars, paid a hefty fine and didn’t have a single steak to show for it.
When Dick’s name was pulled for a third time, he told his wife that he was hiring Paul again. She asked him if he was nuts. He assured her that things would be fine, and that Beth needed to be taught a lesson. His wife argued that there were lots of other good, reputable guides in the country, and that he should try one of them. Dick refused. He hired Paul and got lost in the brush again. When they emerged days later, exhausted, famished and mooseless, Dick blurted out angrily that next time he’d be hiring Beth. His wife had him promptly committed to the insane asylum.
Moral of the story. On election day, don’t be a Dick. Beth and Paul have had their chances, many of them. Don’t wind up in the insane asylum, vote for somebody new.
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