Ain’t nothing like being sassy. Especially when you’re in a bad mood to start with cause you’re broke from the holidays, the weather sucks and there isn’t another statutory holiday for weeks. So when someone irritates you, asks you something stupid or is just plain annoying, hit him/her with one of these, some of the best insults I’ve seen anywhere…
10. Why don’t you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma.
9. Do you have to leave so soon? I was just about to poison the tea.
8. If you were twice as smart, you’d still be stupid.
7. Your family tree is a cactus because everybody on it is a prick.
6.You are so ugly that when your mama dropped you off at school she got a fine for littering.
5. You’re so ugly Hello Kitty said goodbye to you.
4. It looks like your face caught on fire and someone tried to put it out with a fork.
3. You must have been born on a highway cuz thats where most accidents happen.
2. We all sprang from apes, but you didn’t spring far enough.
And the best one I’ve seen so far…..
1. Your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory.
Bahahahaha! Well, that changes my mood from bad to mediocre…. Keep smiling folks, and don’t forget to buy my books. That’ll make me smile at least…..