Ah, the long weekend approacheth. Parties, cook-outs and lots of beers all around. When it’s holiday time in Canada, we know how to celebrate in style. If it ever stops raining that is. With all the festivities going on, I wonder what our esteemed leader, Stephen Harper is going to be doing to celebrate Canada Day? If I were him, I’d throw a great big bash for all my friends and acquaintances. After all, Stephen’s a real popular guy. There would probably be more people there than you could shake a stick at. The big problem would be getting the food prepared. Good old King Stephen would be too busy fraternizing to be bothered with culinary chores. So who could he get to cook?
A barbeque just isn’t a barbeque without potatoes. I’ll bet his old buddy Henk Tepper would be more than happy to steam up some savory spuds for the party. After all, Henk owes Stephen a favor. Mr. Harper got Henk a year’s vacation by refusing to help him get out of an overseas jail. His crime? Allegedly selling moldy potatoes. Now that Henk’s all rested up, he’d probably love to parboil pots of potatoes for his political pal.
Nothing like some lobster tails on the grill. I’m guessing now that the EI rules are about to be changed, King Stephen can count on some maritimers showing up with some seafood for the feast. What’s the difference if they miss time at work anyways? Not like they’ll actually qualify for Employment Insurance once they get laid off. Lobster tails this year and hamburger patties next year when everyone has to get a job at McDonald’s.
So this is shaping up to be quite a party Stephen old boy. Maybe you should invite the Diamond Jubilee moocher Queen Elizabeth in case there’s any leftovers. If everyone else that I’ve mentioned shows up, you might want to invest in a few party favors. Like a helmet and a flak jacket. And maybe the Canadian military while you’re at it. Happy Canada Day!