Today I got a bone to pick with Toby Keith. Let me rephrase
that. If that good old boy was to show up on my farm I’d run over him with my antique tractor. Let’s be clear about one thing; I don’t listen to country music much. It just ain’t my thing. However, no matter where I go lately it seems there is a country music station playing his big hit. So I have to grit my teeth and listen to him yodelling about his ‘red solo cup’. Probably the worst piece of cow pie ever to hit the radio in recent memory.
I’m thinking Mr. Keith is pretty smart. He knows a couple of things
anyway. My musician brother told me in order for a song to make it big it needs a hook. Hence the chorus, ‘let’s have a party.’ With all the garbage that makes in on the air in Nashvilleland, he probably knew he had a hit before it got recorded. It’s not like he had much
competition. To me, most country songs sound like “Waltzing the sheep”, “My ex took everything but the cat litter” and “I’m dating my sister”. Crap crap crap!
The problem with the whole line-dancing, sexy tractor scene is it
is just a big inbred cesspool of ‘never was’ rock musicians who’ve
made it big playing similar garbage that wouldn’t cut it in the world
of rock and roll. So they throw in a fiddle and a steel guitar and now
they’re country stars. Phooey! Only in the world of country music
can someone make it big after they’ve totally rotted trying to play
something else. It makes for some pretty poor listening.
So red solo cup, I fill you up, get in my pick up truck, my date’s
all fancied up, a sheep with a haircut. Well, you get the picture.
I haven’t been this irritated since seeing fat, drunk white guys at
clubs dancing to the macarena. And they looked like a bunch of seagulls on the ice in a 70 mph wind. Now I’m going to stop this blog cause I have to lock out the country stations on all my radios, throw out any red, plastic cups I can find and burn my cowboy hat. Down with Toby Keith!
“Recession Proof” the hilarious ebook by yours truly is now available at amazon. Get yours today @ www.amazon.com/dp/B006R6BDHU, thanks eh!