DOWN WITH TOBY KEITH!!

Today I got a bone to pick with Toby Keith.  Let me rephrase

He even looks like an idiot...

that.  If that good old boy was to show up on my farm I’d run over him with my antique tractor.  Let’s be clear about one thing; I don’t listen to country music much.  It just ain’t my thing.  However, no matter where I go lately it seems there is a country music station playing his big hit.  So I have to grit my teeth and listen to him yodelling about his ‘red solo cup’. Probably the worst piece of cow pie ever to hit the radio in recent memory.

I’m thinking Mr. Keith is pretty smart.  He knows a couple of things
anyway.  My musician brother told me in order for a song to make it big it needs a hook. Hence the chorus, ‘let’s have a party.’  With all the garbage that makes in on the air in Nashvilleland, he probably knew he had a hit before it got recorded.  It’s not like he had much
competition.  To me, most country songs sound like “Waltzing the sheep”, “My ex took everything but the cat litter” and “I’m dating my sister”.  Crap crap crap!

The problem with the whole line-dancing, sexy tractor scene is it
is just a big inbred cesspool of ‘never was’ rock musicians who’ve
made it big playing similar garbage that wouldn’t cut it in the world
of rock and roll.  So they throw in a fiddle and a steel guitar and now
they’re country stars.   Phooey!  Only in the world of country music
can someone make it big after they’ve totally rotted trying to play
something else.  It makes for some pretty poor listening.

So red solo cup, I fill you up, get in my pick up truck, my date’s
all fancied up, a sheep with a haircut.  Well, you get the picture.
I haven’t been this irritated since seeing fat, drunk white guys at
clubs dancing to the macarena.  And they looked like a bunch of seagulls on the ice in a 70 mph wind.  Now I’m going to stop this blog cause I have to lock out the country stations on all my radios, throw out any red, plastic cups I can find and burn my cowboy hat.  Down with Toby Keith!

“Recession Proof”  the hilarious ebook by yours truly is now available at amazon.  Get yours today @ www.amazon.com/dp/B006R6BDHU, thanks eh!

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10 Responses to DOWN WITH TOBY KEITH!!

  1. Jody says:

    In defense of poor Toby: Mr. Keith did not write the song. It was penned by Nashville songwriters “The Beavers Brothers” and brothers Brett and Brad Warren. When they presented it to Toby Keith, he said, “that’s the stupidest song I ever heard in my life. ” and he introduces it that way at concerts…..obviously million dollar stupid…..the public pays for what it wants to hear…………Toby better add a new verse: “Red Solo Cup,
    Jason’s a jealous pup,
    let’s have a party” (with the $$$$$$$ profits)

  2. jason says:

    good answer! And i like your lyrics, hehehe…but if toby has to go through life singing “the stupidest song i ever heard”, that means ive got to write books like “politicians are beautiful” and “lets get fracking”…guess id rather be broke.

  3. james says:

    i’ll bet that jody fella dances to the macarena too! Toby keith sucks!

  4. marc says:

    toby is amazing and you got sum nerve making fun of a hit song. Your nothing but a jackas jason!

  5. jason says:

    @ marc, i might be a jackass but i know how to spell it ,idiot! Maybe you are 1 of toby’s brilliant songwriters…

  6. Jody says:

    Hehe….such hot tempers over such a trifle subject! I didn’t say I liked the song……but I have to give the guy credit-I’m sure he’s laughing all the way to the bank.
    James: listen up: Toby’s not a girl so don’t assume the “macarena dancing Jody” is a fellow.
    Marc: Wow, why is someone a jackass because of their taste in music?

  7. Paul says:

    There are stupid hits in all genres of music: today’s blog got me thinking of a few:
    I am the Walrus / Like a Virgin / Copacabana / My Hump / Honkeytonk Badonkadonk / Achy Breaky Heart / Pour Some Sugar on Me…..the list goes on and on.
    I think the very best is Johnny Cash’s 1968 song ” I’ve been flushed from the Bathroom of Your Heart”………Kinda makes “Red Solo Cup” seem sensible….

  8. james says:

    Don’t care if he’s a she or whatt, its’ still a rotten song…

  9. Toby Keith has not only an amazing hit but is most likely making profit on all the “red solo cup” sales. Genius.

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