Merry christmas! Take that!

We all have to make changes at some point.  Sometimes there miniscule, sometimes they’re life altering.  Regardless, the older we get, the harder it can be to move out of our comfort zone and do what needs to be done.  Someone told me recently that change is like jumping from a high point into the water for the first time.  You feel sick, scared and unsure about the whole thing, but once you run to the edge you start to feel better cause the payoff is so great.  With that, I’m ready to change…

And stop worrying about who I offend when I’m expressing myself seasonally.   Apparently it’s not politically correct to say ‘Merry Christmas’, instead the appropriate term is ‘Happy Holidays’.  Bull$#@&!   This is so simple, yet people have to make it so complicated.  If you’re a christian, say ‘Merry Christmas’, if you’re not say  ‘Happy Holidays’ or whatever festive greeting that floats your boat.   I’ll say Merry Christmas and everyone can like it or take a leap off of something high.  Into an empty pool.

That being said, I’m also ready to change the channel and find one on television that isn’t swamped with Christmas commercials.  Gawd…  It’s not even December yet and Santy Clause is hotter than a hooker on nickel night.  It’s a wonder most parents don’t go stark raving bonkers with the pressure that’s put on them to buy everything under the sun.  ‘Give like Santa, save like Scrooge, lose your house’.  It’s nice having a day to give your loved ones a gift once a year, but do we really need to go bancrupt over it?   Maybe we should all give second hand gifts this year.   Or set a price limit and stick to it.   How bout ‘Give like Santa, who’s on a budget’.

Finally, I might have to change some knee parts.  I’ll know for sure on Monday, but I’m guessing the surgery was a flop.  Or maybe I’m supposed to limp and snap, crackle pop for the rest of my life.  I forgot to read the fine print on the waiver I signed.  By now I’m supposed to be running around on it, but I’m pretty sure if I ran across the room I’d be upside down in the corner on my head.  I don’t think Santa can perform in-home surgeries, so I’m going to ask him for some roller skates and ski poles so I can get around a little quicker.  And maybe a pillow for my behind…

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