Home again! This week I was trucking from Folly Lake in Nova Scotia to Cape Spear in South-Eastern New Brunswick. I was hauling armour stone to repair erosion damage to a road in that area. I’ve learned that rocks are good for a lot of things, but none of them seem to broadcast wifi signal, so blogging was pretty much impossible. I’ve seen city buses with wifi for their passengers, I wonder if my boss would be interested in hooking it up in my truck? Somehow I doubt it… Anyways, I learned some pretty interesting things while living on the road for a week. I’d like to share them with you;
Nova Scotia has declared war on the continent of Africa- Hard to believe isn’t it? I can’t imagine what happened that made Premier Darrell Dexter so angry with a foreign nation, but apparently he’s broken off all trade with them because I was unable to buy a single banana in the whole north of the province. That’s right. No bananas. Plenty of apples and oranges but not one monkey treat to be found. Bad for me cause I’m not crazy about apples, and if anyone has ever tried to peel an orange while driving 110 kph and succeeded I’d sure like to hear about it.
Truck stop washrooms can be dangerous- No I didn’t get mugged. Or slip on a soapy floor. But I almost burnt the eyes out of my head a couple of times. How you ask? Try stumbling into a rest room half asleep, wash your face and hands and then discover there’s no paper towels, only one of those damn air blowers on the wall. Oh sure, they’re environmentally friendly, but it’s hard to be a tree hugger when you’re doing the limbo against the wall trying to get your face dried off. Think that’s funny? Tomorrow morning when you get out of bed, go wash up and then try to dry your face and hands with a blow dryer…
Truck stop waitresses are conniving- Yes it’s true. These sweet, smiling food servers have a secret agenda to get every last nickel out of you in tips. They’re pre-programmed to say things that make you think they actually give a hoot about your job. “How’s the road out there sweetie?” and “Drive Safe sugar” are just a couple of their lines. I might have bought into if they hadn’t been saying the same thing to everyone within earshot. I particularly like it when they come up to me and say “What are you hauling honey?” I slouch down in my chair, bat my eyes nervously about the room and say “Nuclear warheads”, “Corpses” or my personal favorite, “Anthrax samples for a lab” (It really helps if you can rub your eyes and sneeze a couple of times with that one). You’d be amazed at how far a lady can stretch her arms to set a plate in front of you after that.
Just another week in the life of a trucker I guess. Long days, short nights, and a whole lot of hazards to go with the job. If you’re related or aquainted with a truck driver, the next time you see him/her, give them a hug! It’s a jungle out there. (a bananaless one)