The Vision, the MRI, the horror!

Today my book, “The Vision” was officially launched. I can’t tell you how pleased I am about it. After receiving enough rejection letters to wallpaper a room in my house, I finally made it!  Wahoo! I’m really pleased by all the support I’ve received from everyone, I can’t thank you all enough. Your kind words and encouragement are what keeps me writing. When people support local artists and authors, everyone benefits. Please follow the link and treat yourself to my novel. And thank you very much!

If you’ve never had an MRI, I strongly
suggest you get one.  It’ll make appreciate certain things.  Like not having to get another one for a long time, hopefully.  It’s been
quite a few years since I had one and the pleasantness of it all had
kind of escaped me.  For those of you who’ve never had the pleasure of getting a full body x-ray, I’ll walk you through the details.

The first thing they make you do is put
on a hospital gown.  Since I’m on the tall side (6’3), they gave me
the longest one that they had.  It was either designed by a guy who is still pissed off that he didn’t make the basketball team because he was too short, or the hospital contracted the sizing to be done by tribe of pymies.  Regardless, I don’t look too hot in a mini skirt, and if I knew I’d have to wear one in a waiting room full of people I would have shaved my legs.

Next they make you fill out a
questionnaire.  I don’t know why I couldn’t have filled this out
before I put on the gown. It was hard concentrating on the questions when you are afraid to sit the wrong way in case you give the little old lady sitting directly across from you a heart attack.  The questions themselves were something else.  I think if I had a steel plate in my head it would’ve showed up on the x ray they gave me just before the MRI.  And if I’m pregnant call Jerry Springer.

The procedure itself is a lot of fun,
especially if your are claustraphobic.  I’m guessing the same genius that designed my robe probably designed the machine.  It wasn’t made for me.  My linebacker shoulders didn’t want to fit.  For a few minutes I was afraid the nurse was going to grease them and drive me into it with a sledge hammer.  After some manuevering I made it inside.  That’s when I found out the headphones they gave me didn’t work.  I’ve often wondered what it would be like to have someone run a jackhammer on top of my head.  Now I know.

The nurse also warned me it could get
hot in there.  You don’t say?  I would’ve never guess that being
jammed into a stovepipe for twenty minutes could get a little warm.   Luckily, by the time it was over I was sweating so much I practically squirted out of it.  Once I got dressed and stopped feeling like a tuna in a can, I realized that I’m lucky.  Lucky to even have access to such a procedure.  So now I’ll stop whining, relax and check the messages on my phone.  I’m getting a prostate exam?!  Oh God!

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6 Responses to The Vision, the MRI, the horror!

  1. Diane says:

    bahaha, sadly I could picture it…;)

  2. Emily Hussey says:

    Jason, once again you made me smile this morning. I truly enjoy your ranting, keep up the good work!

  3. james says:

    what a hoot!

  4. I hope/ trust everything found in the MRI is all that makes you wonderful and everything else is minor.

    As far as you’re book – it’s about time someone approved of your genius that could make it available to all of us. You are a local inspiration and for that I applaud, thank and support you.

    Thanks for sharing your success and appreciation with us. I had a cat scan once (not sure there’s much of a difference but often wondered how many cats when through such a scan) and it’s certainly not pleasant. I stand a bit shorter than you, probably to your waist, and certainly don’t have football player shoulders and was fine with the enclosure but knowing someone can see right through me when I find myself murky at best is terrifying. But again, am thankful they could test me and I didn’t have to pay.

    Thanks for writing and reading,
    Sarah Butland author of Arm Farm, Brain Tales – Volume One, Sending You Sammy and more!

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