Everyone has their own personal reasons
for losing weight. I had a few of my own, but I think the tipping
point for me was when I was a speaker at Mill Writes a little while
back. I was the only speaker who didn’t get videotaped. The lady
doing the filming kindly told me she was having a problem with her
camera, but I think she was trying to tell me politely that she’d
forgotten her wide angle lense at the elephant exhibit…
So I embarked on a journey to a smaller
me. And I decided if I was going to lose the weight, I was going to
do it without starving myself, cause let’s face it, that never works.
Being the ‘genius’ that I am, I came up with a few ideas on how to
lose 25 pounds without having my stomach sounding like a lion on
- Eat three hearty meals a day
consisting of nothing but prunes and bran slathered in generous
amounts of olive oil. Actually, if you try this in about a week
you’ll have lost the weight, control of some bodily functions, and
most of your friends. I don’t recommend this one.
- Vow to live on nothing but green
vegetables until Premier David Alward does something intelligent.
If you had started this meal program when he first took office,
you’d be more than just thin by now, you’d probably be invisible. I
don’t recommend this idea either.
- No sugar, No fried food, No
flour(okay, I bent the flour rule a little. If you’re wondering
why, just try and make a sandwich without any bread. It’s a
challenge.) This was the one I went with and it works.
Living without fried food seemed
impossible at first, but guess what? Boiled eggs are good, so is
steak in the oven and on the barbeque. Throw in lots of fruits and
vegetables and you won’t be hungry at all.
Sugar wasn’t as hard to kick. I found
out that if I filled up on the good stuff, I wasn’t looking for it
anyway. And once you stop the sugar, a lot of the flour disappears
as well. One thing to remember is if you’re really craving for
something that you shouldn’t have, have it! No sense driving
yourself completely crazy, just don’t go overboard with it.
Next came exercise. Oh boys, this one
was was harder to start than a wore out diesel truck. The first time I got on a bicycle I was out of breath before I left the driveway. I
actually considered putting a cheeseburger on a stick for incentive,
like a horse with a carrot. I don’t the bike fared much better. It
was screaming for mercy after hauling my carcass for a few hundred yards. Eventually it got better and now I’m doing 10 kms at a time, as well as sit ups and punching a heavy bag. Stick a picture of Alward on the bag and you can pound it all night. The key to stayingat it is do something that you enjoy.
So I did it. I’m twenty five pounds
lighter. My goal is to lose fifty. And I’m pretty sure I’m going to
make it. For now, I can proudly stand in front of a mirror, smile
and exclaim, ”Gee, my reflection actually fits in the mirror!”
Maybe this is the start of something. I might become the world’s
next self-help guru. Maybe my next subject will be, ”How to cook
hot dinners using various parts of a dump truck for an oven.” Don’t laugh, I’ve actually done this…(And no…in case you are wondering, none of the pictures are of me.)