Totally useless junk!

It’s supposed to be politically correct
to go green.  I know this can be hard to swallow sometimes when the
environment police are ready to haul you away in cuffs if you
accidentally throw out something recyclable, while British Petroleum
turns the gulf waters into a lovely shade of black.  Not to mention
we should all be drinking fracking fluid straight from the tap in a
matter of months. It ain’t fair, I know but at least we should try to
be a little better to the earth before it becomes one giant, barren
parking lot.


So I guess what’s irritating me today
is; if we’re being advised, ordered and pushed to be more
environmentally friendly, then why are we being bombarded by a slew
of products that do nothing but pollute the earth even further.
Every time I turn on the television I see commercials trying to
convince my to buy something does little more than contribute to the
nation’s landfills.  Here’s a few examples for ya.


New cars – They’re smarter, sleeker,
and all bragging about how fuel efficient they are.  That’s great
except for one thing;  THEY’RE STILL BURNING GAS!  For the life of me I can’t conceive how NASA can build a space station in zero gravity, we can power cities with windmills and solar power, yet no one can mass produce an electric car.  Perhaps if someone did we wouldn’t have a fleet of greedy gas companies looking to frack up our backyards.


Weed Killers – Every spring they
break out the commercials starring middle aged idiots waging war
against killer dandelions.  Hey geniuses, I have a weed remover
that’s a little better for the earth than your pesticides, it’s
called a lawnmower.  Modern farming is trying to move away from pesticide use because of the havoc it’s wreaked on the environment. If you think that stuff you’re spraying on the lawn is so great, wait
until a bunch of it seeps into your well water.  I suppose then
you’ll be telling me how great it is twice as often when you sprout a
second head.


Swiffer products – Okay, this is the
epitome of stupid.  When I was a kid my mother used to wash the tile floors with an old fashioned mop.  When she was done they were so clean and shiny my siblings and I used to slide around on them like they were a skating rink.  But now you tell us that mops and brooms are no good.  If my mother was here and you told her that her floors
weren’t clean because she wasn’t using the swiffer, she’d probably
clock you upside the head.   You want to prove to me that you have a
superior cleaning product?  Take it to the landfill and see if will
sweep up the extra tons of garbage you’ve created with it.


That’s just a few of the products I have a beef with.  I know there’s lots more of them out there.  And I’d love nothing more than for you all to tell me what they are, and
why they’re useless.



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