Sex

A title that conjures up different
images for different people.  Hot, steamy, lustful…Not in my blog!
But it’s a catchy title eh?  I figured I ranted and raved so much
this week about politics that I’d catch you all off guard.  A
beginning or title that means one thing and the work itself being
very different is actually a lot like politics.  When the party is
first elected they’re going to make your world a better place, then
when they finally get to work the taxpayer ends up getting screwed.
Which is a lot like sex.  Good lord, I’m writing in circles…

Anyway, it’s Friday, let’s have some
fun.  A little while back I wrote about my Grandfather and my Dad
being great tricksters.  Well guess what, I ain’t so bad at it
either.  In the 1990’s I was working at a lumber mill as a loader
operator on the night shift.  My job was to take the lumber away
after it was sawed and stacked, then put it in large rows where it
would be loaded onto trucks.  The fun started when the loader I was
using started acting up (the transmission was slipping.)

The company ordered a new transmission
for it, but I had to use it while we waited for the new part to
arrive.  It was working so bad I had to drive in reverse most of the
time.  So I kept asking a guy who drove a newer one during the day at
a different department(the planer mill), if I could use his during
the night shift.  He kept saying no, citing that it was his loader
and his alone.  It was no more his than the mill itself was.
Nevertheless, he went so far as taking the keys out of it every night
so I wouldn’t be able to use it.

One evening I got fed up.  The machine
wasn’t his, it was the company’s.  I decided to have some fun at his
expense.  The loader had a big windshield and a big heater to keep it
defrosted.  I gathered up a bag of sawdust so fine it was like
powder.  Like a cat burgular, I crept into the building where the
machine was located, got inside of it and filled all of the heater
vents with the sawdust.  Then I turned the heater  on high so when he
inserted his key the fan would come on.  I wasn’t there to see what
happened, but luckily there were some witnesses.  They say he
disappeared, literally when the fans blew all that dust through the
cab.  He emerged, coughing and swearing as it was in his mouth, nose
and eyes, looking to kill whoever sabatoged his machine.  Luckily, by
that time the culprit was home in bed.  Have a great weekend
everyone!

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