The big news on the internet this week was the new duchess Kate was seen (gasp!) grocery shopping. Oh the horror! How shocking to see a member of royalty doing something so menial. I’m afraid when Prince William sees her doing the dirty deed he’ll be looking for a divorce already.
Meanwhile, King Abdula of the Shwana tribe in central Africa regularly clubs monkeys over the head, picks his own banannas, and would consider an outhouse to be an unheard of luxury. The difference? No one gives a damn about King Abdula, but if it makes him feel any better, I don’t give a damn about the royals in England either. But I’m pretty sure if the british blue bloods ever went to visit him, they might be mistaken for his favorite food and get whacked in the noggin.
Arnold Schwarzenegger and his wife Maria Shriver are calling it quits. There’s also rumours flying that Arnold, the govenator, will film another sequel to the Terminator movies. Good Lord, is that what we really need? Who’s going to be afraid of a robot that’s modeled after a viagra popping senior citizen? I can see the movie title already. Instead of “Rise of the machines,” the single old geezer with his fistfull of blue pills will probably want to call it “Rise of the…” Well, you get the idea.
Lindsay Lohan, the actress who can’t act like a civilized human being is expected to plead no contest this week to stealing a twenty five hundred dollar necklace. Her punishment? Maybe 14 days in jail. Is it just me or has the whole world gone nuts? If Joe Six Pack had’ve stolen the jewels, he’d a probably been tazered, beaten to the ground and sentenced to a couple of years in the clink. But since Lohan is famous, she gets a slap on the wrist. With her record she should get a slap in the head. It’s no secret that the justice system is biased, but what I’m really wondering is, is she related to Charlie Sheen?